Parents seem to have a way to punish their children: Either by rewards, punishments, or neither. These ways are inefficient and are terrible ways to raise a child because they have serious negative disadvantages.
Many parents use punishments as deterrents for children who act out. This method of parenting has its advantages, children and teens are less likely to act out if there is a punishment for actions. However, it has some negative side-effects. It teaches kids that every action has negative consequences, which in fact is completely false. Another more serious and immediate concern is that the kid/teen tries to go around the rules and that is a bad practice. The worst effect of this method of teaching is eventually, the kid, to be frank, just does not GIVE A FUCK.This phenomenon is known as the pinnacle of passiveness. The child/teen reaches a point of realization that the parent cannot do any more punishment to a child, there is a limit to the amount of punishment one can receive. Once one realizes that, the deterrence is effectively eliminated and thus anarchy and destabilization of the family arena. To reach this point, there must not be a strong attachment to things, people, or time that can be taken away. Adding on to this, once these things are eventually taken away, which is the effect of any punitive form of parenting, the child/teen must not revert to desire these things. Attachments are the bonds that are used to tie down and punish teens. Once a teen transcends these desires, he/she is free from parental oppression.
Parents also use incentives, rewards to give teens incentives to work hard and do well. This parenting technique is effective from the start, letting teens feel appreciated and helps guide teens and helps them do well. Eventually however, this makes teens succeed for the sole purpose of receiving the rewards bestowed by the parents. Instead of working for the primary sake of working and doing well, students work for rewards, which is also not accurate, because in life, one must work for the sake of working, or for rewards that come in the future or possibly never come. Adapting to the new environment could prove troublesome to these class of people.
Parents who use neither methods do not run into the same problems that the other teens under the other methods of parenting run into, but at the same time, with not punishments and no rewards, the student would be more likely to not succeed without boundaries.
The best way to parent a child is to make a clear distinction between the parent and the child; making it clear what rights the parent has and what rights the kid has. Parent-kid relations are like a chain: the child is subservient to the will of the adult; at the same time, the parent has the responsibility to take care of, listen to and respect the kid’s ideas. Both parties have the obligation to tell the truth and to have trust between both parties. If this chain is broken, all bets are off, and neither party is responsible to the other one. For example, if a child respects a parent, and the parent does not respect what the child has to say, then the child has no obligation to fulfill the role he/she has. One cannot expect obedience from another person, if respect is not given to both parties. At the same time, this does not mean that the child and the parent are equals. As long as respect is mutually given, the child must obey the whims of the parents. Finally, it is crucial that rewards and punishments are balanced. There should be less punishments than rewards in a healthy parent-teen relationship. The most punishments there are in a relationship, the likelier for the child to reach the pinnacle of passiveness. The perfect balance does in fact vary from child to child.
This method of parenting is superior to a more punitive method or a more incentive-based form of parenting.